Your husband sounds exactly like mine. He wants what he wants, but he wants to be friends too. I'm sure they're in their own fog for wanting this and not realizing the total hell they're putting us through.
I too, am dropping the rope, it's just to painful to be wishing for something that is never going to happen.
H:50 W:49 Together since 1981 Married 10/13/1984 S: 20 S: 17 Bomb Drop: 20/11/09 Separated: 01/08/10