Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

W and I are interacting better. She does not seem as cold when we talk now. I think detaching from her feelings and just treating her in a more respectful manor has help me. My anger for things, that have happened in the past and with EA/PA, has gotten the best of me when talking to her. Now I have little anger behind my words.

I know that my sitch is a long way from anything happening, good or bad, but I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have adopted a thought to help me. I will be a winner whatever direction this M goes. I want to have happiness in the M, but if not then I will have happiness without W.

Yesterday W was on her other cell phone talking to someone when I came in from a church function I was at with D. As she was finishing W stated on the phone I love you. I knew that it was a friend of hers but never heard that type of exchange. I looked at her because she used those words feely with her friend, yet has used those words sparingly for me and especially my family. She would always say that we (my family) "over-used" those words. As if you could stip away the meaning. W then quickly became defensive and told me that she was not talking to OM it was her GF. I asked her if she was feeling guilty, that I looked at her that way because of her use of words being so free with GF and not for my family over the years.

I have not asked whether she has said anything to OM. I think I don't want to know anymore? I am just past that point. She has lied to me so many times that I have little to trust with her. I am continuing to work on loving myself and kids that if and when she decides to come back to the M we will need to try MC. She did admitt she needs IC and has looked into some. Do I trust? Not right now!!