Had around 15 or so people over... great friends, great food, great wine, great music. A good time all around. And the best part was the amazing sense of support I felt. All of those people came because they want to support me in this new chapter in my life. They brought me gifts and cards and... WINE! (I am well stocked for some time.... ) One of my friends, as she was leaving, said... "Rocked, do you realize how many great friends you have? And the quality of those friends? It is a testimony to the kind of person you are." I thought about that for quite a while after she left and it made me feel warm all over (or was that the wine... hmmmmmm.... )
So that was all good.
The current issue is H's ongoing discussions with me about reconciliation. I am struggling with this mainly because I am feeling pressured now. On one hand, he is saying he sees how hard I fought for us and he wants an opportunity to do that now. Then in the next breath he says "Just tell me straight up if you are done for good so I can move on." You call that fighting for us? I keep saying the same thing... Right now the answer is no. You work on you, I work on me. I don't believe a word you say, so I would need to see action... and A LOT of action.
This doesn't seem to be good enough for him. Too bad. I fought for us when I had no guarantees and he kept slamming the door shut in my face. I fought with everything I had for a year and a half. If he really wants to fight, he needs to prove it. Otherwise, yup I am done.
)