can you provide examples? this is not meant to poke or anything .. just to get a real idea so i know how to come up with a goal of my own.
the last thing i want to do is come up with a goal that is h-related and i really want the goals to be about me.
I guess all of us here have the same goal - save the M. Examples depend on individual sitch.
You can do the "shock and awe" and give them what they want all at once. Ask them to leave or leave yourself. Vets here have said and continue to say that it works despite some risks such as that you will lose the opportunity to guide your way should they take the offer and run away for good.
Or you can "let them go" slowly and figure out what happened in the first place.
WAS does not want to be with you because you are no longer attractive. Therefore WAS does not respect you. Therefore they nag, spew and act out. They rewrite history and convince you that you are the cause of all of the planets misery.
To tackle that one baby step at the time is more delicate and time consuming but also involves GAL, 180, "letting them go" in a slightly different way. The benefits here are the opportunity to closely monitor the progress and changes as they react to your actions. Mistakes can be corrected quickly. Downside is that while you may become more attractive and get your respect back, WAS may view you as a safe plan B which will drag the process.
I have personally chosen the latter method. It gives me the opportunity to work on myself and get to know my W better. What were all the issues that needed to be adressed and weren't? I can do this and become a better person while validating her feelings whether I agree with them or not. I am still at home with my family. I can always walk at the end if nothing else works and if that brings her finally around it would be much easier from there. If not, I have the strength and wisdom to move on on my own.
