do your homework, and try to be evenhanded in everything you do -- nothing too dramatic
can you elaborate what you mean by this for the newbies sake?
Quote:
Work on yourself
hmm .. gives me an idea. want to start a thread on "what have you been doing to work on yourself?"
i ask for you to elaborate because i have found that my definition of "work" or whatever may not be the same as yours. in fact, i don't even know what 'work' is. i've been here long enough .. and i still am not used to the lingo.
i define work as 'GAL' .. 180s .. things that make you better. that could be things like exercise, going out with friends, etc. and 180s could be trying skydiving.
that's all good and fun. but then there's 'work' on yourself. and that's the tough part for me. how do you work on yourself? how do you gauge if you are making progress (without using your spouse as the person who determines if you making progress or not)?
i find that ic sessions don't help you with working on the things that made your m fall apart. they only help you move on and grieve. ic don't tell you to look at yourself and see what went wrong because you are who you are and you shouldn't be changing yourself for someone. love yourself just the way you are. so i'm torn - i go to the ic to help me find out what changes i should make or how to go about making these changes. yet, they also tell me i should love the way i am.
i've been here long enough .. and i still am not used to the lingo.