And W is probably right too! Next time be a million times more introspective and listen carefully before you say or do anything - tie your hands up and duct tape your mouth until then.
The one that moves out and has the best 'real' support group succeeds in these situations. Moving on with your life in a positive direction! You want people to be attracted to you,correct?
Walking out of the room, not talking about important subjects, fickle, is not attractive behavior and when you are stuck in a house with someone who is not into being with you
acting like this is not going to get you anywhere.
Anyone who read DB/DR remember what it says on chosing separation vs. staying in the same house? I don't remember if it says something specific on this.
Got the girls all ready for Sunday school. Obviously a big day, church, then D8 getting her ears pierced for the first time, then Halloween trick or treating. W was in a good mood, complimented me on my shoes...
Arrived at church, got the girls to their respective classes, W and I had some down time so we went to a local donut shop that I usually go to on Sundays between class and the church service. W seemed perky, talkative and friendly.
While eating our donuts, she says we need to keep what's best for the girls in mind and she mentions the idea of us sharing the new apartment, just taking turns living in it. I said I had heard of this technique, "nesting," and asked her what she thought of it. She said that it might not work because it wouldn't really be home for either of us; I wouldn't have my computer for writing when I was at the house, and she wouldn't have her craft/scrapbooking stuff. I agreed. I said "let's just get through the holidays."
She got a pissed off look on her face, and said "So you're still staying in the house?" I looked her straight in the eye and said "Yes. I'm going to stay in our home." She got visibly upset, and said "So now I have to move out into a one-bedroom shithole." I said "Please don't swear at me," and she apologized. I said that the apartment I had planned on renting wasn't a shithole, and that she was welcome to it. She said that she couldn't afford it. I said that it was what we had already agreed we could afford when I was the one moving out. She just ignored that, and said "well, we'll just have to sell the house in the Spring." I said that I didn't plan on selling the house, and that I could afford it. She said it was her house too, and I agreed, but that I wanted to try and keep it if I could swing the financing.
At this point she was totally walled off and angry, and said that she wanted me to drive back to the church. She didn't say a word during the drive.
When we got to the church, she slammed the car door and stormed inside. I went to collect our Ds from their classes, but it we were too early so I had to wait. W wasn't anywhere in sight. Eventually she showed up but ignored me. Finally she came over to where I was waiting. I told her not to slam the car door; she said "I had to go to the bathroom," then stomped to the other side of the church cafeteria.
A few minutes later, she came back over, and apologized, saying that she was mad and had slammed the door on purpose. I nodded, and she said that we would need to talk to the girls about moving D6 into D8s room, and getting them bunkbeds. The implication being that W would move into D6's room. I said sure, but I'm comfortable with the way things are now (sharing the master bedroom). She didn't say anything else, and the girls classes were over so we went to the service. It was fine, she seemed on an even keel.
After church we went to get D8's ears pierced, and had a fun time. W picked out some stuff for her costume, and seemed to be a lot happier focusing on the girls. Next we came home, got stuff ready for the night's trick or treating, then watched a movie. I sat in my chair, she was on the sofa. Our kittens were sleeping on top of her, and she wanted me to take photos. She was much more relaxed, and we both just enjoyed the movie; she pointed out parts that were different than the book (The Girl Who Played With Fire) and talked about how she thought the American version of the movie would be different.
Watched a bit of football, then had a quick pizza dinner together before trick or treating. Then we took the girls out to the neighborhood, and had a good time watching them sprint from house to house. W seemed to enjoy it a lot, no tension, just enjoying the girls.
Came home, got the girls to bed, then watched The Walking Dead together. Zombie Apocalypse...
Went to bed when it was over, W slept in our bed. She woke up and got ready for work, I was up too, and said Good Morning. She just said "Hi" and left. Noticed that she still wasn't wearing her wedding ring.
Today I'm going to the gym to do weights after work since this cold is kicking my butt. After dinner I'm going to try and get some writing done. Going to keep GAL, and work on having a PMA throughout the day. No R talks, no pursuing, just letting her cool down from the weekend.
Another thing that happened before the trick or treat fun was going over our budget. We've been building up a rainy day fund while paying down our debt, and I talked to W about it. She's been handling the finances with my help, so I didn't want to just jump into things. I asked her if she thought we were doing well enough to pay another chunk off our line of credit. She said yes, so we figured out how much we were both comfortable transferring. She said November will be an expensive month with some bdays and getting all the Xmas gifts taken care of.
