H has double standards. Like what applies to him does not have to apply to me, and vice versa. So today I thought I would set a boundary and let him know how I feel. So I said 'I would appreciate it if u would act fairly and cease having double standards' Typically him he lashed out at me and told me that he does not have double standards etc etc. Kinda expected it a little. Anyway we ended up saying a lot of things to each other (not in pleasant tones, I should say - we really do not know how to communicate with each other without raising our voices and getting all worked up)
So some of the things that came up from H. 1. He wonders if the marriage will work to which I replied it can if we work at it. 2. He wondered what will be so different now when we have failed all this time - to which i replied our commitment and learning the right tools (we never took the time to do that) 3. He says he needs a weekend away to think and process things....I was happy that he said he needed to figure things out by himself. (I sometimes have my misgivings about taking that root as at the moment I am overly suspicious about his actions) But after weighing everything I think he REALLY needs that time and I will let him know he can go. He seem to mind what my views are in regards to the trip....as I once said to him 'u r using it as an excuse to meet the OW,',she is in another country though. 4. He commented about that letter I spoke about in my previous post. He said he does not want to go anywhere but stay in our marriage esp for son. I said to him that staying in M as things are right now will not work, as we will keep on fighting and things will get worse. Anyway the environment we are currently living in is not conducive for any child to live in. Right now he is still young (1), but when he gets older he will understand. 5. He said he is depressed and stressed, and I was the cause of it. (Says I accuse him of things he is not doing. (I said he is doing some very suspicious things and what he says sometimes is just so off). I pointed out to him that the depression is probably his conscience talking to him. 6. The last thing he said was that he wanted me to send the letter to him (the one I mentioned before), as well as some self help documents I downloaded. That was a surprise coz he has not really shown any commitment towards reading them. I am thinking of buying 'His needs/Her needs' as well as '5 Languages of love' and give it to him instead. He said he would read those when he goes away for his 'break'. I am not sure if he is sincere or if he would read them either as he said. Should I give the books to him or wait a little longer????.
Another thing I am spending so much time on my laptop reading posts on this site. (He doesn't know though). He has been concerned and has asked on more than one occasion what I will be doing and whom I will be chatting to. When he asks me next time, should I tell him something like: 'I will gladly show u my laptop if you will show me yours'
This weekend he barely spent time on his cell like he usually does. Was quite surprised
