Okay. I did my own thing yesterday. After I got back, she suddenly had to go out... she came back 2 hours later and didnt come in the house. She was sitting on the chair outside the door crying. I asked her what is wrong and she just looked at me and starting sobbing more. I told her I dont know what I can do, so I gave her a hug and told her things were going to work out. then she said she has known me over half her life.
She asked me if I wanted to go trick or treating with our son all together. So we did.
After we got back she showed me her cell phone and her star app on her droid... first time she showed me her phone. I said it was a cool app and moved on.
Got home and she touched my arm and said good night. Then she kept going in and out of her room and left the door open. She came out and asked me a question about logistics for tommorrow and asked me if I would come upstairs to hook up her DVD to her TV... I did then she said I could sit on her bed and we could talk.. not a whole lot talking. but she cried some more. and I held her and then I went downstairs.
this morning same routine a little softer but all business.
I am reporting this only to get out what I saw not as a course for any of my actions.. I am not flipping or flopping, I am just reporting last nights strange turn of events.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
Just don't stop what you are doing b/c she is softening.
And ask yourself this: what is "softening"? Because... often... it's just the begining of realizing there are going to be some losses... in terms of security, that you may not be there to be her buddy (which is why you don't want to promise to be her buddy), and so on.
If she's ready to re-commit to your marriage, she will tell you that. My W initially did things that seemed like that is what she wanted, but then... naw she didn't "feel" what she needed to feel, and that's what is important in the begining. She has to feel something (e.g. loving feelings & respect).
You don't want to be nasty about it, but while she is chasing somebody else, she can't stay in your home. Be firm.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
no not going to start a new thread everytime. This was a complete change from her. I said I was just writing it down. I am not asking what to do. I know what I have to do. As for "running here to start a thread", I am looking for support and I appreciate the comments made. No need to be pointed. I thought this was supposed to be a place to seek that support?
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10