Well, I think I worked out my distress and why I was feeling a bit lost. I think I was exhausted from Port Douglas, I was projecting old exh feelings onto the situation with Joe when really the two situations are compleatly different and I realised I was not doing what I intended to be doing in Oz.
So, I have drawn $400 on my credit card (which work owes me anyway so I will get back) and have booked a trip down the south west coast. I will live very frugally but give myself a break from work and just relax for a while. I realised that I had been working really hard since I got here and not had a break and my body and mind was strongly telling me that I need one. So tomorrow I am going to start heading down to the Margaret River region and then down through the southern forest and across to Esperance then up to a gold minig town and then decide what to do from there. I estimate all this will take me about a month or so and I may have to do a bit of fruit picking along the way.
I feel much clearer headed and excited to finally be doing a bit of exploring. So exciting! I am still full of cold but I am so much less stressed and in so much of a better place. I'll keep up my travel update
I have 3 hours before my coach leaves and the nice lady at the hostel reception has let me use the internet.
My trip has been really great so far. I travelled the south west part of Australia and it is really beautiful and so different to any other part of Australia I have seen. I have been on some stunning walks along the ocean, in forest with all the lovely wild flowers and then yesterday in the valley of the giants with hugely tall trees. I carry along the south coast for the next few days till I get to a place called Esperance and then I go inland to where I can pick up the train to Sydney. The train should be interesting, it takes 3 days!
The only thing is being on my own so much, it is driving me a little mad. It is *really* hard. I know the end is in sight but it is coming up to 3 weeks now with no meaningful company and that is not good for anyone.
I miss Joe, who hasn't been in touch at all, even though I sent him an email which I know I probably shouldn't have done. Well, I know that says it all and that he doesn't deserve me missing him but perhaps it is because of the aloneness thing heightens all my thoughts. When I get to Sydney I will know two people from Port Douglas so I hope that should get me started with meeting people and making connections again. Also, I need to find a job asap as I am unbelievably broke.
Just a vent but for someone who professed to not want me anymore, had an affair with another woman, sold our house and stripped away all that my hopes and dream for the future for us and is now engaged to someone else. Why is he still contacting me?
I de-friended him on FB. My last response to his email about getting married was 'Congratulations. Maple's injections are due in December.' And suddenly now an photo of Maple and he'd 'love to hear what I'm getting up to if I get the chance'. Actually the 'if I get the chance' thing is quite classic. After being so desparate for contaact from him for so long and him saying he was too busy. Mwhahahahahahaha. No I don't think I will get the chance. I'm too busy being chatted up by hot NZ train conductors - that was fun and I got a free pass to the lounge and lots of free toast and a free wash bag.
Oh but then the real me kicks in and I start to feel sorry for exh and mean for not replying. But then, it could be time for the big boy panties for him. He's engaged to someone else now. He should be getting all he needs from her now eh.
Geez. WTF is up with that? Same stuff my eh pulled. I think it's a guilt reaction. They try and be the nice guy, be friendly, try and be friends because then they feel less like an arse for leaving you and being with someone else. *rolls eyes*
Don't cave. It is time for his big boy panties.
Keep having fun in NZ!!!!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Just hearing some of those men speak would be enough to turn my head...hot train conductors?? Even better...