Sweetie, I'm not the 2x4 type. Doesnt mean I wont give them, but I prefer a soft tap. OK, maybe a big tap in your case.
Nothing you did or didnt do caused your h to start and continue his behaviour. NOTHING! That's all his.
A couple of other things...I had contact for a long time with h, limited, but some. I dont have much now. But, I can tell you a couple of things.
My h, over three years post bomb, still told me he is not happy. So, what you believe to be true, might not be.
And he may appear cocky because in is mind, you are the problem and now he's found the solution. And that is going to be a great, big letdown for him when down the road, he still isnt happy.
My BIL, who thankfully made it out of the tunnel, said, while he appeared to all happy, confident and in control, he was feeling anything but that.
Having said all this, I really and truly do understand what you are feeling. I do. I felt all the same things. And slowly, over time, I realized that it is what it is. And dwelling on the whatifs and whys wasnt going to change it.
The only thing that I could change was me.
My h, well, his stuff was his.
And no amount of me wishing and hoping and analyzing was going to change that.
So, I know that you are headed in the right direction. You just need to stop looking over your shoulder at him and start looking straight ahead to your new life.
