My worry is that if I wait until I completely process the pain and get over this I will be very, very old and gray.
How about just waiting until you are divorced? You won't be old and grey....
By telling someone that you are separated and not divorced and don't want to be divorced, do you think they would still want to be with you? As what? It seems a bit yuckier than what our ex's did - they were with someone else but at least WANTED to be divorced...
And that is from someone who did the commiserating, no-meaning, temporary, fill-in-the-hole thing for a few months.
Sometimes we are so afraid to be alone with ourselves, to get to know ourselves, that we try to fill the silence with all kinds of things. But I can tell you, it is really amazing about what you come to know about yourself when you just stop for a little while, and be still... You won't realize how frantic you are right now until you have some peace to compare it to.
The house is a great decision. D8 is having a sleepover. Three friends are over. They were having so much fun that I forgot to pick D11 up from theater practice. I realized my mistake and rushed them into the car and got to the church where D11 was practicing 10 minutes late.
D11 was mad about me forgetting about her until I showed her the girls feet. I rushed them into the car so fast they all were barefoot.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Not one but two sleepovers. D11 had friends over last night.
We got them dropped off and to church in time for D11 to volunteer with the 4-year-old Sunday schoolers.
The message at church was how "Two words" can change your life. This week the two words were "I surrender." I surrender control and just let things be.
I have no control of what happens tomorrow. I'm trying to remember that.
After, we ate lunch and then headed home. D8 wanted to go through the woods again. She slipped, got her pants muddy and that started a 30-minute meltdown.
That was a bummer.
I still let her trick or treat though. It was tough. She was very defiant -- it was almost as if she'd saved it up for one meltdown.
D11 went trick or treating with friends from the neighborhood. D8 and I went around. The last house she wanted to hit was "the house" with STBXW. I'd emailed STBXW on Thursday asking if she wanted to take the girls out today she never responded.
Anyway, D8 was excited to see STBXW, who took her picture and then we headed home. D8 talked about how STBXW is tough on her but she loves her. She thanked me for marrying STBXW so that STBXW was her mom. It was a nice moment.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
