MODs, you have chosen to remove Coach's "let them go" thread, I ask the question, Why?
It was an excellent post/thread by a db veteran, a lot of newcomers derived incredibly useful information and advice from that thread.
The censoring of these forums really needs to stop, you're going to alienate more users because of this new "cleansing" process you have in place, both new and experienced users alike.
The fact of the matter is, you don't have DB coaches actively patrolling the threads, offering input and advice to the newbies that come here looking for it on a daily basis, removing threads like the one that Coach had started is counter productive, it helps no one and honestly, it's beginning to establish a negative feeling about how this site is being managed.
There was nothing in that thread that required it to be purged from the forums. If the moderators and DB coaches believe that advice on this forum is incorrect and at odds with DB principles, instead of removing a thread, chime in, comment, offer advice, post a reply on why you disagree with advice given and why you think it isn't correct or why you believe it's counter-productive to divorce busting.
I'm requesting that you restore Coach's thread and start using more careful consideration before taking down important and useful posts that contains information that new users really need to read and consider using in their own situations.
I couldn't agree more, Rob. First, one gets locked over on the MLC forum where we were all having a respectful and self-censoring debate (even laughing after the back-and-forth), and now an entire thread just -- POOF! -- disappears.
Coach's posts are always the first ones I look for when I log on. Maybe we should all be given pre-approved talking points from the Central Planning Committee before we post.
I couldn't agree more, Rob. First, one gets locked over on the MLC forum where we were all having a respectful and self-censoring debate (even laughing after the back-and-forth), and now an entire thread just -- POOF! -- disappears.
Coach's posts are always the first ones I look for when I log on. Maybe we should all be given pre-approved talking points from the Central Planning Committee before we post.
Geeesh.
Starsky
Well obviously we are doing something wrong.
It would be nice, if we knew what we were doing wrong.
I think part of the what goes on in that forum is an article of faith: namely the "midlife crisis".
Aside from some conjecture by Freud and Jung and a bunch of pop psychology books mostly from the 50s through the 70s, there isn't data to support anything that unique about psychological crisis around midlife.
Every controlled study done over the last decade has found that people in mid-life are no more likely to be having a personal crisis than people in other age groups, and researchers in the field no longer see the term as meaningful. Rather, they say that focusing on day-to-day stressors and stressful events is more useful for determining treatment.
Even Michele Weiner-Davis refers to the "mid life crisis at any time", so...?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Rob let me first say I agree with your first post here.
It is possible and I am only thinking from memory since the thread is no longer here that there were some references on the thread that were not from MWD but other "marriage experts".
Maybe this was offending the mods.
Again that would be nice to know, rather than all of us, mindreading.
I totally agree. A personal crisis can happen at any time.
I hate the moniker myself.
The WAS is dealing with some emotional/phsychological issues I would call a personal life crisis. Do all WAS have personal life crisis? Maybe to an extent.
I know that my W is having one based on childhood sexual abuse. How THAT effects people in their adult life can take many forms and not all experts agree on what to call it. It ends up getting misdiagnosed a lot of times because is there really a diagnosis? It is a trauma. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
They exhibit many boderline behaviors but not all or not all to the same degree.
But they ALL do have to deal with it at some point in their life.
Is that MLC or PTSD or Something they haven't labeled yet?
It is not an excuse for their behavior. However understanding that is what is happening, and that it can, to some degree, explain behavior I think is important for the LBS to understand.
The process the LBS goes through should be the same.
People get stuck no matter if they believe in MLC or not.
Is Linus stuck because he still believes in the Great Pumpkin?
Hmmmm.
IMO Linus is the most self aware, healthy peanut.
How you ever seen his soliloqey(sp?) on the meaning of Christmas?
That dude rocks!
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
It's not likley someone is complaining, well I mean it is possible, and very lame.
"I don't like what you saying and cannot argue disagree with you , or ignore you soo, I'm going to click notify, there that'll show you."
It's more likely a hightened presence on the boards, more monitoring, happened last time and over time, it wasn't a daily thing.
Right now all it is taking is one or a few people with the ability to remove threads to do so if the post doesn't feel right to them. Heck I lost a post in Divorced and Surviving just asking if a couple people got B-worded. which also seems to be a reason posts go away.
This post right now, I suspect is skirting the lines and might not be around long.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
