Hey IB, I told the truth simply. H and I are separated right now. I'm doing well, thanks for asking. Details are no one's business.
IB, I was thinking of you today. I wanted to comment on your post.
At the beginning of all this, I felt as you did. H and I were friends, partners, a team. Our marriage was strong, solid, good.
And for the most part, that was true. But as I began to walk this journey, things became clearer.
I started to realize that while our marriage was good in a lot of ways, there were things that were not good.
I realized that I allowed my h to make me feel inadequate. I take responsibility for allowing it. That's all I can do. I cant take responsibility for his part.
As I continued soul searching, I began to see and understand other things about myself and the dynamics in my marriage. I changed the things about me that I wanted to change.
We should all strive to be our best selves. For us.
Do I love and accept my h? Yes, I do. But, I could not assume he felt the same. I can only take responsibility for me.
Sweetie, I know that if you look really hard, you will begin to see that there were things in your marriage that needed to be looked at.
The fact that you feel as you do about yourself and the fact that your h was doing things that made you feel badly speaks to that.
Things were not perfect, were they?
I always tell people when they start out on this path, to start by looking at the marriage to see what things they want to change within themselves, but dont get stuck there.
Use it as a jumping off point on the road to self discovery, but dont end there.
You walk your journey. Stay out of the way of his.
I lost a lot of valuable time trying to figure out why and what he was thinking and feeling.
I dont want to see you do the same.
So, let him blow in the wind right now.
Who cares what he's doing? You get to build an even closer relationship with your children. You get to find out who you are and what you want, what you're capable of, what makes you fulfilled and happy outside of him.
