Ok ya'll I am posting this for myself. I know it is right before the holiday and there are not a lot of people on the board right now. I am making my plan as I write this…
Just took a BIG hit today regarding R with H. Have to see him in just a couple of hours.
On the way home from church, D3 is chattering away. We were talking about the Halloween party H took her to last night. I asked her if she saw her Aunt J and her little cousins. Chattering back n forth like this is normal for us BTW. D3 pipes up that she has another Aunt J. She went to the fair with other Aunt J and her daddy and they saw a Farris wheel. Suspected OW has the same name as H’s little sister. D went on to describe that this Aunt J looks like OW’s niece (who is not even her niece, just her best friend’s daughter).
She chatters on as I call my neighbor to meet us at the park with D’s best friend. My neighbor is truly the only friend I talk to about all the gory details. We talk for a bit as I try to calm down. After she has to go, I try my therapist. He has his cell off (understandably) so I call a crisis hotline and vent. I feel better now, but I am still furious. I am hurt. I am HUGELY disappointed in my H.
REASONS TO NOT EXPLODE OR CONFRONT:
1. Tonight is NOT OK to confront H about an affair. We will be surrounded by children who do not need to be in the middle of this.
2. This is not really a surprise. I had held out hope till now, but this just killed that.
3. I don’t want OW around by baby, BUT OW is not dangerous to my child’s health or safety. I just hate her. A lot. Especially right now.
4. H has no mysterious plans involving our D3 at this time. Right now all of his plans involve us spending time together on my b-day this Tuesday & D staying overnight with him at his parent’s house on Wednesday.
5. There seems to be cheese at the end of this tunnel. H has been working up to telling me something, and my current line of DBing seems to be allowing him to open up to me. Whatever direction he takes, talking to me is a good thing.
6. Good or bad, my time is coming soon when the affair will be confronted, but now it ‘feels’ like the time to step back from H and see what he is up to.
7. I need more time to talk to lawyers etcetera. Just in case.
SO HERE IS WHAT I PLAN TO DO:
1. I will go early, upsetting H’s attempts to isolate me from the rest of the family and behaving differently from how he expects.
2. No crying, no looking like my cat just died, and no hinting that I might be upset.
3. I will be FABULOUS! I am taking care of myself, getting a life, looking good, and EVERYONE there will know it!
4. I am going to enjoy taking my daughter and her 3 big cousins out trick-r-treating tonight. I deserve to enjoy tonight, and so do all of these kids.
