GAG, MIL is passive aggressive I'd say so she says nothing and everyone thinks she's lovely and she is until she gets bothered by something and then rather than have a discussion she either sends an attacking letter/email or refuses to talk. So she issues the punishment. In their family no difficult topics are ever discussed.

MIL seems to have forgotten that it was through my urging that she reconnected with H after months or no talking over ow.

She told me to move on and that we are to have no further meals together...(H, me, chn, MIL, FIL) because of the discomfort/tension/stress she and FIL feel. She says she will tell H this. This is the first time she's mentioned this after 3 years. There was tension at lunch mostly cos H was not talking! At the last dinner at H's house he was so relaxed and MIL and FIL said H was relaxed and in his element.

After S's 18th MIL wanted some photos and asked for a family photo of the four of us. This made me really uncomfortable as H and I hadn't spoken in 6 months.

When D, H, MIL and FIL went to breakfast the morning after their arrival she asked H if they could call in to see me so here she was initiating a 'family' situation.

She told me H and his sister are still not talking over the ow situation. She can't have me in the conversation about H but only when she sees fit.

Plenty of other examples. I just think she's got annoyed and protective of her son and has quickly let me know what she thinks and her solution to the issues as they suit her. She doesn't need me anymore. H is now in a better place.

She was upset with ow but not anymore. She's decided it's what her son wants and needs. She won't ever say anything to ow.

It's ok cos I don't need her and my children are old enough to make their own contact with her.

GAG re phone calls with H... I have made very few. I have had skype in past months and we have used that to communicate. I am thinking of deleting him off that because it makes me too aware of him being home/away and makes communication too easy.

Hi Sanderika, How are you?

H and D had a 'falling out' Friday and he told her she could find her own way to her activities over the weekend. This really annoyed me because I had deliberately emailed him prior and asked him to help out as I expected a busy weekend with study. (I rarely ask for this help and I told him why)

So D tells me the situation and so I say that I'll take her....not that big a deal. At the last minute H texts D and asks if she's right for a lift and D says yes. He texts again to ask if it's me taking her. D refuses to respond.

Sunday morning H texts again and asks how her activities were so conversation is back on. Good lesson to me in how to handle H. If he's interested he'll be back in touch.

So I cancelled weekly dinner and just told him I was too busy as I have a uni deadline this weekend. I could manage it but I think I need some space.

MIL's email has really made me wonder if H is really worth this kind of hassle. All I have ever done is try to understand him and that has been very challenging. (as you well know)

So I've clarified with H on the basic MIL issues and I'm now giving myself some space while I feel this way. I figured it was a perfect opportunity.

I was also annoyed that H didn't bother to contact me to say sorry he would no longer take D to her activities or to say sorry he I had to do it. It's another example of how it's all about him. Perhaps H has inherited this 'all about me' attitude from his mother!