Thanks Eric and PEI,

You brought tears to my eyes as I read both of your posts.

Think last weekend had any impact on me? Eh? Eventually

you get sick of being sick and tired. I have a long way to

go. I need more of Grits ribs. I need a beer with that.

I know I have lots of challenges ahead of me. I can't think

of anyone I would want to be around more than you guys right now.

I am getting small glimpses of what things could be like in the

future. They are only very small glimpses though. The pain is

still keeping me in a fog. I know what I have to do to keep

pushing forward. I would not still be on this board if it were

not for you folks. There is magic here. You just have to get

yourself in a place to experience it. Nobody has the special

password or secret handshake to make you see this.

So now it is time to move forward. I have a chance to create

the coolest future limited by only myself around people who

GET IT. If you truly think about this, that is a gift that nobody

I know (in my neck of the woods) gets to receive. I have

received help here from people that did not even know me just

a few months ago. I am blessed to be a part of others lives

besides my own here. The family and friends that are near me

can't possibly get this without experiencing it for themselves.

I sometimes feel the same pity that MHL states he sees from

family and friends because they love me and don't want to see

me suffer. Can I blame them? No way can I blame them for feeling

like this. I get this type of thing from my own 12 year old son!!

He is apologizing for his mom and telling me he is sorry that I

am going through this. I hate that he has to feel sorry for me.

That alone is enough for me to just keep moving forward for me.