In addition, why cant XH just be satisfied with chatting to his sons each night, rather than continually forcing her onto them. It is not healthly and it is sending a message to my sons, that marriage is disposable and wives can be replaced.
Agree 100% with you.
My kids were all teens when there father left and he tried to force OW on to them. They would not have a bar of it.
They each have said that they were so thankful that they were not younger and having to spend time with there father and OW. They said as they felt sick about OW they could voice it and make choices. They feel tremendously sad for kids who are forced into some sort of relationship with OW and have no voice. Even at a young age they must feel disloyal to you, angry at their father - yet love and miss him amd anger at OW. Yet it cannot be expressed.
My kids have chosen to do what makes them happy. They know they had 3 choices
1. Try to form a relationship with their dad and new woman. 2.Have a relationship with there dad at the exclusion of other woman. 3. no relationship with their dad.
Each has chosen either 2 or 3 and it cahnges from time to time. Nothing set in concrete. XH does not like their decisions but understand he has no choice if he wants to see his kids. His OW in 2 years has never attended a family event of my XHs family or met my kids. When my kids want their father , he does drop everything. And still she stays. Does she love him ? I think not. XH is depressed at this ever distant relationship with kids ( he gets upset ). If I loved someone in this predicament , I would step back and have him work on strengthing bonds and then try a re-introduction.
You do what you feel is right for your kids. Only you can protect them . Their father sounds to focused on his little head to do what is right by his kids.
