I have no MIL, her death was a trigger for my H's MLC....
H left me 10 months after,
I have been told by many that if she were still alive, H and I would not have been in this situation, including FIL.
FIL and I get together regularly - twice a month for my son's sake. He is cordial and friendly, keeps me informed of the goings on in the family. He never mentions H or the OW or my relationship problems. I do know, however, that he is deeply hurt by H's actions and choices and does not like what has happened in his family one bit.
As they say, blood is thicker than water. MIL are a different breed. I know they can be very protective of their sons. I picture myself to be one one day....Hmmm, I will have to learn a lesson on how to stay detached.
As has been said by all of us, pay MIL no attention...continue to be kind to H.
As far as MIL not having any first hand knowledge of how you feel, you are correct...therefore she is not in a position to offer any advice good or bad.
She is like my mother, I don't have any contact with her because she doesn't understand what I am going through and never will. She was always meddling (I am sure out of love) and offering me advice on what to do and how to behave. I couldn't take it anymore....I had to run fast and far. My relationship with my family will never be the same because they don't know my pain and anguish over the break-up of my precious marriage. I suppose I have become a prodigal child...another Hmmm.
You can bet the R he has with OW is not that satisfying. You can also bet that she is much more demanding and causes plenty of pressure on H. That's what OW do...
It's when OW are pushing and pressuring that our H's get really into deep funks. When all is status quo and they aren't under pressure, they are calm, cool and collected. This is a fact in my sitch anyway...
I agree with the DIM to DARK approach at this point in time...
Let the dust settle. Let H come to you either in friendship (in which case he is reaching to you) or for the settlement paperwork (in which case I would move forward with the divorce paperwork as well).
I hope he mends the fence with your D...that is not doing any of you any good. This is apt bring H back into your world if it continues for any length of time...keep an eye and ear on this thing between them.
Good luck wishes again!!
I will be watching....I've gone back and forth whether or not to start a thread yet.
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
