MLC=Twilight Zone/When do I wake up?

[PEI]

Warrior ...

I'm taking this over from Irish's thread ...
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However, it does not get thrown out the window for us.

We are the ones standing because this is the "worse".

At the same time, we have been given this opportunity to

look at ourselves and find the things that we have lost

in ourselves because of the marriage and the patterns

we allowed ourselves to create.

So you do get the chance to become your best person as you state.

So you can choose to use this time wisely and become that better

Irish that I can see is in YOU or you have the choice to just

keep doing the same thing again in the next relationship whether

it is with your H or someone else.

My W was my best friend through this as well. We started a

friendship before we got married. We certainly did not marry

based on sex.

You state being a really healthy couple. I thought we were.

I bet you thought the same thing with your M.

Looking back now, I realize that the marriage did have some

faults. We could have continued on and I still would have been

happy. But at the same time, I had to give up a lot to keep

my W happy in order for me to stay happy. That is not a good

trade. No one should have to be the pivotal person to make or

break a relationship.

That is what I do not want to go back to. The only way that

my W is going to get through this and end up with me is if

she can find that happiness is found within. Not from external

sources. I have to let her find that. If she does not figure

that out, my M will become a prison again. A prison that I let

happen. I let myself believe that is what all marriages are

like. I let myself believe that this is what it is meant by

marriages are hard work. I still think marriages are hard work.

But not the way that I was working it. That had to stop. It took

this crisis to stop it. I am just beginning to see some of this

8 months after bomb.

I hope this helps.

Warrior