I understand you POV and I was probably too hasty in stating that I am trying to find someone for my next R. If my W would come knocking on my door and again I have not thought about this in a long time I would want to know her motive for wanting to come back. I am know ones second choice! And if acceptable then she would have to prove beyond belief that she believes in this M. I don't want to hold onto false hope so I am moving on with my life via GAL'ing and detaching to the point of amnesia.
HIH,
I've gone back and read the early days of your sitch on your own thread. And I dare say the bolded quote could have been spoken by your wife too right? How have YOUR actions proved to her that YOU "beyond belief, believe in this marriage"? I'm not about false hope, but get real with yourself about what you are doing and why. And no, I'm not advocating being a doormat or condoning her behaviour. From where I sit, you've shown her you are exactly the same man she married, the man that met her before his first divorce was final. Again, JMHO.
I'm all for GALing (which by the way does not translate into dating and shallow outings - it means Get a LIFE ... actually live for YOU, IMO) and detachement too. But detachment to the point of amnesia??? C'mon ... how do ever expect to get different results doing the same old thing? There are lessons to learn here, these experiences can make us stronger, better people but Tarzan-like chest thumping "I love me"s are not the answer. You're here, you found this site because you wanted to save your marriage, so as far as I'm concerned you've got what it takes to really dig deep and uncover for YOURSELF the reasons behind the actions that got you here.
Good luck to you, Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
