Aug 18: D has 1st overnight with daddy. H is nervous about this so plans sleepover with his friend’s niece & her family.

Aug 22: D’s b-day party. Notice H is uncomfortable close to friend of his from H’s store job who brought her niece to party. I don’t like it, but try not to assume H is having a affair.

Aug 25: D’s real b-day. H’s maternal grandmother dies suddenly after long illness. Doesn’t want D & I to come for family get together. Planed living room camp out with D. Still have campout, but H is exhausted and reserved.

H has been cold & short with me when calling him to tell D good night. One night when H was supposed to come over then said he was sick, I call him at his parents house when he doesn’t answer cell. H is not there. I get call back, and I tell him I had just called his parents looking for him. H tells D good night, but is short. When I say “I love you,” H makes rude snort and hangs up. Next morning I tell H he is in charge of telling his D goodnight. I will not be responsible as it feels like I am stalking him and makes me crazy. He can set an alarm on his phone if he needs to.

Aug ?: H comes over. Tells me D has invite to his friend’s niece’s b-day party, but he will take her. I become suspicious. Ask H if something is going on. H admits there is “something,” but claims there is no relationship. I ask H to “Please finish things with me before starting a new relationship. Adding another person to this will only complicate things.” H nods in agreement, and says “ok.” I ask H to start setting aside time to talk and work out how our separation will work. H agrees.

I find Divorce Remedy book at library and start DBing.

Aug 29: Have date to talk after nephew’s b-day party. Agree to put divorce decision on hold till Nov 15th. Also agree to do finances together and work together to give D time with both of us.

Sep 7: Got together to work on finances. H’s spending was off the charts, not at all his norm. Admittedly small savings is gone, no more safety net. I had spent time venting and calming myself after getting a look at credit card bill. Was calm when he arrived. Let the checkbook and credit cards talk for me. H looks devastated when he sees his spending total. We talk about what we can do to stop the damage.

I have feeling that something is different and that it is going to be ok. Bills seemed to bring him back to reality for a bit. I finally get job offer from my old company. Start in 1 week.

I start teaching toddler art classes at rec center.

H is out of town with a friend reenacting a war when I start my job. H wants to help and buys me a computer case as a gift. H is out of cell phone range, but drives into town for good night calls to D.

H is working more at restaurant and store to keep money coming in.

Sept 28: DBing seems to have been working. Small gifts from H, increasing visits, relaxed attitude, more hugs, lots of sideways compliments (telling D what a great mom she has). H comes over fro dinner, we both have too many margaritas, and finally have SEX after D falls asleep! Yea! I call him next day to tell him I enjoyed night together, H says he did too. Also let him know I had a great time and that I did not want to pile on any expectations. Worried H will pull back

I continue to DB and act ‘as if,’ but see very little of H. We are both working a lot. H seems to be pulling away.

Oct 1-3: I go on women’s retreat with my church. H stays at house with D. Following week H starts picking up & dropping off D at day care instead of at house. Almost no contact with H. Trying not to ‘chase,’ but am anxious.

Decide to reconnect with in-laws. They have said they miss me.