2004: Separated for 6 months. H has 1 EA & 2 PA. Confesses affairs when I tell him I am done waiting and ask to sell house so I can move to be with my family. H recommits to marriage.
2005: Move to Houston for a job.
Aug 25, 2007: D born
Nov 2008: H loses job he loves due to boss he doesn’t get along with. Move back to Dallas and move in with H’s parents. H has several low paying part time jobs and tries to find something better. I take care of D and try to find job too.
Feb 2009: H finds full time job. Move out of parent’s house and into rental house.
Sept 2009: H loses job when company closes. Company does not pay last 3 weeks wages. We go on food stamps. H picks up hours at his part time job. I start process to be certified childcare home.
Next few months are tense as I start a home daycare and H withdraws to computer and work.
Feb 2010: H’s grandmother (step dad’s mom) dies after long illness.
March 2010: H wants to initiate foster to adopt process now “if we are ever going to really do this.” Have talked about for years, and had even started on Houston, but not finished due to move. Later find out this was right after almost having a one night stand with someone at a bar.
We start adoption process, my daycare gets up and running, and things seem to be going better. H and I spend time together and talk about parenting stuff. H helps around house more.
June 2010: Have to go to Michigan on 2 separate occasions for my sister’s graduation and to care for my Dad. H comes on 1st trip (car trip from he!!) not on 2nd. Me & D both get sick between trips. H says not to worry about the housework. Night before I go on 2nd trip, H goes on what I can call a house cleaning tantrum. H is distant on phone calls while I & D are in Michigan.
July 1: Return from Michigan.
****BOMB DROP*** July 3, 2010: 1st date with H on way too long. H says he has been unhappy for a long time, but doesn’t want to run away. Feels like an outsider in own family, and that he feels like we are just roommates. Agrees to try dating, wants to put foster/adopt plans on hold. End up going on one date and H takes extra shifts at work. I cry a lot and look for a new job.
July 18: H goes to help a friend move. Takes off wedding ring. Says he wants a divorce. Admits to almost sleeping with someone else back in March, but his friends from work stopped him. I tell him he has to be the one to tell his family. I won’t do it for him.
July 25: H starts overnight pet sitting job.
July 30: H moves in with his mom & dad. This is when they learn we are having a problem. I cry a lot.
Aug 2: mediocre date with H
Aug 3: H’s b-day. Has family party, then goes on all night drinking & strip club run with brother-in-law and friends from restaurant job.
