I continue to struggle with what my next move should be. He is planning on moving out this week. He has been so emotionally distant the last 2 weeks. Never asks me anything, doesn't ever tell me where he is going, or where he has been.
I have been trying to do a 180 and detach a bit. I don't talk about the fact that he is leaving, I don't ask about the other woman, I don't act upset or sad. I just try to act as if I am moving on, I think I am trying to convince myself that I can do this as much as I am trying to convince him.
Of course, even though it may sound pathetic, there is still a part of me that wants the marriage. He was no this person before the affair.I think he is acting as coldly as he is b/c he has convinced himself that since this is not something that is normally in his character that it is my fault that he had the affair.
But it is not my fault, and I am so mad at him for treating me like it is. His self righteous attitude, his inability to face what he has done to our family, and his selfishness make me sick. I continue to cover up the fact that he had the affair for him. I continue acting as if everything is normal. And it is a slap in the face to me that while I am doing this he treats me crappy.
When he leaves next week I really want to be able to tell my friends what has happened. I know from a standing up for myself vieew point this makes sense, but what about from a divorce busting stance. Each person I tell is another hurtle that he has to get over. On the flip side, I don't think he will return to the person that I married until he hits rock bottom. And I feel like that won't happen until he starts having some consequences for his actions. So far there have been none. Moving out is not a consequence b/c he chose to do that.
