As I reread parts of my last thread I can see how focussed I am on H and how I have taken the focus off me.
In December when H made no contact for Christmas I determined he wasn't worth my time and I shut off all contact with him. I started to feel really good and happy, too.
In June after much inner debate I initiated contact regarding our son's 18th birthday. Since then our relationship has moved from really awkward to comfortable. It has been different to any other contact we've had in three years.
MIL has now added into the situation and I start this new thread unaware of what she has said to H or where he sits. (MIL has told me to move on and that ow is just what H needs. She has told me that I am impeding her forgiveness of H and their relationship by my involvement.)
H has been out of contact since last week. He has also had a disagreement with D and they are not speaking. I will not be initiating contact with him.
Anyway, regardless of what H is doing I need to make this more about me and living my life the way I want. if H is coming along for the journey, great. If not, then I can't afford to wait around for him.
Atm D is also an important factor in this. She needs my time and attention, too. She's hurting as well.
I have the settlement paperwork out to give to H as per his request. He can do the work for it. He can lead the way. He seems to think this will bring him happiness and closure.
Today I am working on an assignment for my Masters. It's a drag but it's what I need to do for my next career move.
