i'm going to try something in each of these categories.
relax - the massage was my relaxation. i have another one booked next friday. eat - i'm eating again. my friends took me out for my first shawarma last week. yummm .. they made me order the platter. :P think - trying not to think too much act normal - trying to do this too - slowly getting there. react .. smartly - failed this so far but we'll see. do something different - halloween party tonight night. never been to one, will go. emulate - not sure what this means or involves. do work - if i knew what it was, i'd try it.
i'm going down the list.
i have a little story to tell.
in my leadership course, one of the instructors usually gives a talk at the end of the class. this week, the talk was about what a smile can do. how a smile can change someone's day.
it reminded me that four months ago, you told me to start smiling and see what affect it has on others. it is true. when i stop smiling, the world stop smiling back. when i smile at others, they smile too and it brings people towards you.
today, someone came into the elevator. <big smile, dumped>. and i engaged in a conversation with him about the weather - it was actually snowing outside!!
i am also beginning to see the stop, drop, and roll analogy. i feel as though you are telling me that i know what the answer to my problem is .. but i keep thinking about it and i don't know what the answer to my problem is.
i need to make a real conscious effort .. not this yo-yo of "oh woe is me" to "i'm gonna make him pay" attitude.
i don't want any of this to have to do with my stbxh though.
for some reason, i think he's got a PI on me to accumulate evidence that i'm stalking (he's doing it to get a restraining order on me). i am very suspicious wherever i go.
that's also part of the reason why i haven't engaged in any conversation with him. i am actually afraid that he will view any contact that i have as 'stalking'. i need to save the conversation stuff when it is truly needed. otherwise, stay away .. or he'll slap a restraining order on me. pls don't make me do anything that will look like stalking. if i get a restraining order on me .. that's game over. no chance of ever being friends.
anyway, i took a pilates class today. i feel good. body is still in good shape. need to up the GAL a bit more. my masseuse told me to go out and not stay at home. tomorrow, i will do some grocery shopping and then maybe hit the gym for a weight training class.
i think i found my potential "vacation" - to go skiing. it will also help with my focusing (ie. gotta stay sharp so i don't hit a tree?).
i've also started trading equities. something i've never done before. i watch, monitor and observe. so far, i'm doing fairly well. nothing big but not bad.
