Sure you are judging and this is a healthy debate. I did and have honored my vows. The woman I have dated all know my sitch and I am not delving into anything serious. It is just like going out with my male friends, but without razor stubble and the anatomy is a little different.
I truly believe that each sitch has it's own unique issues. My stbxw is gone...long gone! So what are my vows honoring a M on paper that is most like dead emotionally? I personally value myself more than a M that my stbxw does not value and I am DB'ing by making myself stronger, healthier and happier so that I am ready when the D hits the fan! I guess I can see my sitch with more clarity than other posters on this site.
Like I said in a previous post... I don't plan to hold a torch for years hoping and praying that my W sees it and comes running back to me. I value me too much! Sure I sound selfish, but the LBS who sits and waits entering their WAS's lives intermittingly only to be shunned or rejected is selfish as well they don't want to except the fact that they can live a happy fruitfull life without their spouse. I don't need to date, but it is a more entertaining life than going to a movie alone....
