Having my car repaired now so wanted to address a couple other points........
I just reviewed some of my journal entries from 6 and 12 months ago.......and I think the primary thing that I notice is that XH and I now have an easiness about our interactions that wasn't there before. Like 2 old friends. Could be because of the weekly TT outings......or maybe because he feels insulated by GF#2. I can see in my e-mails to H/XH 1 year ago that I was really chattering in an effort to engage him. I've done very little of that since the D. ...........Jody said that someone close to XH thinks that I am so much of a threat that they sent the anonymous package. I guess that also tells me something about what XH may be saying about me to those close to him.
Last week I also told XH that the former GF of his BMF and I had been doing things together socially. This was a pretty significant revelation since once XH has a chance to think about it he will realize that means I know about events in his life after the bomb. This will probably be threatening to BMF too. I felt that the time had come to disclose this to XH since he and I had been opening up more to one another in the last 6 weeks. Will be interesting to see if that impacts our dynamic.
CW and Cas, Jody told me in August that I should try to move toward the romance stage. At that time we thought the R with GF#2 had ended. She said that I should get online and read some dating profiles to change my mindset because the appearance that I'm out there may lower his resistance to me. At dinner after TT, I told XH about some of the men in the TT league, embellishing a bit. The 9 year old girl and I are the only females playing with about 25 men of all ages. Just wanted to give him something to think about.
Lance and Seeking, your discussion was REALLY helpful to clarify things for me.
Originally Posted By: seeking answers
JMO but hasn't GAG already let go when she and her XH divorced?
To me it sounds like she's in the process of building a new R with him. Just like when you begin dating someone you really don't know where the R will go.
GAG's getting to know the new XH. Who knows, maybe she'll find out that he's now someone she would no longer want to be in a long term R with.
SA, I think you hit the nail on the head. When I looked back at my journal entries I saw that I dropped the rope big time for about 7 months, starting last October. I went pretty dim. I think that you are correct that I am in the process of building a new R with XH. I AM moving forward with my life. XH is not preventing me from looking around at other men. I just know that I am not ready yet. Part of the reason for this may be that XH and I still have a special connection.
Originally Posted By: LanceSijan
Also is GAG's husband still in replay? Or is he trying to reconnect with her to end his replay antics?
Lance, I think XH is and has been in replay for many years. I really think his BMF is primary contributor to this. I saw XH growing up a bit during the summer when BMF was out of the picture (Jody said she thought XH reconnected during the summer because BMF was out of the picture even thought GF#2 WAS in the picture), but last week it sounded as though they had returned to the same old behavior patterns. If that is the case I think I will have no choice but to move on. XH's response to the fingerprint analysis will be telling.
If you made it through this, thanks for reading. Your feedback has REALLY helped me to see these developments in a new way. MUCH THANKS!!!!!!!
