Well, I'm not a "vet" either, but I agree with everything Greek wrote (with the exception of one word, namely "should.")
Just because someone else breaks a vow does not give an excuse to do so oneself. To those with children, do you accept it when one justifies their behavior by saying "he did it first"? Breaking a vow is a black mark on one's integrity, imo.
When I had been separated for about 4 months, I did date someone. I was upfront about my status (separated, D filed), and believed that because of that there would be no problem. There was. I kept my heart pretty guarded (in retrospect) and evidently she did not. I also did not fully appreciate the extent to which my W still held claim to it. So when an opportunity reconciliation presented itself, I realized I had to break things off with this OW. She was heartbroken, and I still feel badly about it. I did something that stroked my own ego and "felt good" at the time - and wound up hurting someone very badly, betraying my marriage vows, and also adding yet one more thing that W & I had to work through (which we did, thankfully).
So I can personally attest to the veracity of Greek's point number 3.
