I am not one of the vets and just like you I am in the midst of my sitch, but I think I can add value to your question, "So "holding onto your vows" and your beliefs is not really pressuring them, correct?'" I believe doing just that is not presssuring or pursueing your WAS so long as you are NOT communicating to them what you are doing and conducting yourself in a self righteous manner.
I personaly think that I am DB'ing successfully in that I am GAL'ing and totally detached. I also thank my stbxw for her going totally dark which forced me to detach completely. I am dating only (no sex)because I know that my M is over, but I do honor my vows. And sure dating to find someone for a future R. I don't plan to latch-on to the next woman I meet because I really want to know them before a commitment...I don't plan to have to use this site again other than pay it forward.
HIH,
You consider dating to be honouring your vows? Actively seeking a woman for a future relationship is honouring your vows?
I'm not judging you, not at all. I just see that as a huge contradiction. Sexual fidelity is not the only vow you made.
PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
