I am not one of the vets and just like you I am in the midst of my sitch, but I think I can add value to your question, "So "holding onto your vows" and your beliefs is not really pressuring them, correct?'" I believe doing just that is not presssuring or pursueing your WAS so long as you are NOT communicating to them what you are doing and conducting yourself in a self righteous manner.
I personaly think that I am DB'ing successfully in that I am GAL'ing and totally detached. I also thank my stbxw for her going totally dark which forced me to detach completely. I am dating only (no sex)because I know that my M is over, but I do honor my vows. And sure dating to find someone for a future R. I don't plan to latch-on to the next woman I meet because I really want to know them before a commitment...I don't plan to have to use this site again other than pay it forward.
