How should H act if he wants a R ?

[Truegritter]

that the signs will be there about him coming out of his MLC. I think he is starting.

Anyway, I believe he is showing some signs of getting out of his fog.

This ^^^^^^^^ is taking too much time in your head.

While you are watching your H in the rear view mirror you are not looking at what is ahead of you.

Stop watching where he might be in this process. It is not an exact science, you will only see where he was in retrospect MAYBE.

If he comes through and you decide to still be around.

Focus on you and letting go of H.

Your journey.

" I still love you, why do you think I keep coming back."

Why do I think he keeps coming back? Confusion. Guilt. Validation that you are still there and accept him.

Maybe to take a bight of cake and then go back to OW which validates him in some other way.

The truth is YOU or I don't know so don't try and figure it out.

What would your M look like if he came back today?

Would it be different than before? Are you any different?

Do you want a different M or the old one?

He said the other night how he would love nothing more for us to get along because we had so many great times together.
" No one will ever understand me like you, enjoy all the same things as me as you did.

Why wouldn't he want this^^^^ it takes away the consequences of his choices.

It takes away his guilt by you doing this for him.

I am all for guilt. Not applied directly by the LBS.

BUT also don't relieve their guilt by allowing them to eat cake.

Allowing him to have a friend in you when he is engaged elsewhere

Only you can draw the line here. Think about what he is trying to get from you and how it causes YOU pain to let it happen or to give it.

YOU need to heal too. You need to find your self independent of H