To Date or not to Date?

[Vulcanized]

I usually post on the MLC site. This idea of dating or standing - it is completely an individual stand. This whole nightmare has caused me to take a good, long look at myself and my own values. I married and took vows that truly meant something to me. For better or worse - who defines worse? In sickness and in health. This is not easy - but after a lot of soul searching I came to the opinion that I want to be able look at myself in the mirror and know that I remained faithful to my vows. It doesn't matter what H does - it's about what I need to do for me.

I believe in this. This is what my conscience has to go on right now. THIS is why I'm doing what I'm doing.

However, when do you really stop and say 'what if' I just missed a great opportunity? When is standing by your vows not a good thing? My W is having the time of her life and here I am doing the work. She isn't doing anything that benefits her or the marriage. Why am I doing this again? lol.

I mean I'm not stupid enough to fall in love with the first girl that gives me attention, but when I know someone likes me and my W doesn't...when do you draw the line and give it a shot?

According to the DB "Elites" WHO ARE with their spouses come in and tell you "Set Em Free" it makes me question WTF are we here for?

I think you're here to save your own hide. More than likely, your M is done. By done, I mean sign the D papers, it's over. Just my $.02.

I've been here just shy of a year, done the right things, yet my H is still w/OW, still served me. The only diff is that, unlike a year ago, when I first showed up, is that I'm no longer a basket case.

In the last year, I've had my rebound (which would have never happened had H not had A). Granted, that was a disaster and a half, but ... it has given me hope, and something to go on for the future.

So ... continue to be faithful to WAS who is/isn't faithful to you. That's a choice that only you can make. In my case, I have NO REGRETS about my little 4+ month fling. H has been choosing to stick his d*(k in whore for well over a year; as such I owe him NOTHING.

Not to say that I don't love him; I do. But, I don't owe him a damn thing. He valued my fidelity so little, I don't feel guilty for returning the favor. Just my opinion ...