GAG, I'm a bit of a fence sitter here but I just had a thought re your situation...... don't forget the four phases. You can't rekindle romance until you become friends.
XH is XH and he has a woman other than you as he's entitled but unless she was there pre-separation she's not an ow in the true sense of the word. She could be his security while he sorts his feelings for you?
I wonder if XH could cope with an ultimatum? I remember DB coach telling me my biggest ally was patience. She told me not to go with ultimatums.
Four phases - get rid of negative feelings
- become friends again
- rekindle the romance
- re-commit to the marriage
I don't have great clarity at the moment as I swing from side to side but this was just a thought I had to add to the convo!
