A man in full

[crushednstuck]

Her individual debt, joint credit cards, equity lines of credit on the house - they're all increasing as she funds her new lifestyle. It gnaws at me that it will all have to be dealt with if/when there's a reconciliation. Not to mention the fact that this limbo is preventing us from refinancing at awesome rates. The question is 'what priority does it hold for me now?'

Financial devastation was assumed when I entered the DB process. And L advised the same; shut it all down, file on the basis of infidelity and humiliate her. I could do it easily and I would be right. And I would win everything - except what I wanted.
Yet I don't know where I am. I'm clearly not done. And she's not interested in pulling the trigger yet - I think. It simply makes the process more expensive. But how do I tell my kids that I filed and severed ties because standing up for my family was too expensive?
Besides, half of a lot is still better than all of nothing.