My worry is that if I wait until I completely process the pain and get over this I will be very, very old and gray.
How about just waiting until you are divorced? You won't be old and grey....
By telling someone that you are separated and not divorced and don't want to be divorced, do you think they would still want to be with you? As what? It seems a bit yuckier than what our ex's did - they were with someone else but at least WANTED to be divorced...
And that is from someone who did the commiserating, no-meaning, temporary, fill-in-the-hole thing for a few months.
Sometimes we are so afraid to be alone with ourselves, to get to know ourselves, that we try to fill the silence with all kinds of things. But I can tell you, it is really amazing about what you come to know about yourself when you just stop for a little while, and be still... You won't realize how frantic you are right now until you have some peace to compare it to.
