W: Hi. Pinhead: It's me. Wondering what we're doing for Takeout Friday? W: Whatever you want. Pinhead: Ok, I'll grab it on the way home. Bye W: Click
Let's play the game right.
W: Hi
PH: I was going to stop and pickup pizza from Moes. How does that sound to you?
W: You know Moes sounds good but I was thinking about Chinese.
PH: Chinese it is, Peking City or Panda Buffett?
Lead the conversation.
Coach, are you tapping my phone?
Here's what I expect you to say.
W: Hi
P69: I was going to stop and pick up sandwhiches for the whole weekend so we never have to leave the house. I am picking up a couple of foot longs, with extra hot sauce, and some ice cream for dessert. How does that sound to you?
W: Great, it's been too long since we had sandwhiches. Don't forget extra napkins Pookie -Wookie.
PH: OK, I'm hustling.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Had to call W since it's Friday when we do "Takeout Friday" and I'm the picker upper on my way home.
Her DB is good:
W: Hi. Pinhead: It's me. Wondering what we're doing for Takeout Friday? W: Whatever you want. Pinhead: Ok, I'll grab it on the way home. Bye W: Click
Me: does not call W about dinner. Instead having fun with two pretty brunettes. W calls puts Dog #4 on the phone. D#4: woof Me: Arghhh, woof, woof. Click. After 10 minutes call back. Me: That was cute. Who missed me? W: All of us. Me: I guess I have to feed you all. W: Just me. Me: Preference? W: The usual. Me: No usual tonight. Found a new great place to go. I am sure you'll love it. W: Okay. Me: I'll be home in fifteen.
Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen you are a riddle pinhead. retroville in one post. moving out in the next. telling her you're not attracted to her in one sentence. you are bringing her lunch the next.
Stick to one plan.
And now more of the same... Staying, then moving, now staying...
And now you are telling us your reasons for moving out where not what your threads say they were...
You need to go back and read what you were saying about moving out and why....
This constant changing of your mind is NOT attractive to a woman. It looks like the men here find it attractive, but the facts always point out that women don't find a wishhy washy man attractive. Make no mistake about it Pin, your wife is thinking you are a flake.. ...
So you tell her for weeks you are moving, and then like a flake just change your mind.. Do you have any idea how this roller coaster effects a woman when it is the MAN that is the one causing the emotional highs and lows...
I told him his way out of this was to tell her he would reconsider and not leave IF she went to Retro...This would have worked because she was in panic when he first told her he was moving out...
Retro would give them their best chance to turn this around for good without him leaving AND seen as a show of strength... It would have been perfect because she would have thought of it as her doing it because she wanted to do it, not because she was forced. If not, he should have then followed through on what he told her and moved out. MANY times moving out and getting some space apart is EXACTLY what is needed for both parties to see clearly... (Coach and Greek are an example of it WORKING)
He is now looking again like Pensacola.. Emotionally changing their minds as the wind blows...
The facts point out that Pin had decided to leave because he had realized that he did NOT want
to live with a woman who wasn't attracted to him. He also said that he now knew how SHE felt. This among other things he was then saying about why he was leaving. These were all good and legitimate reasons.
Now he is trying to tell us he was only doing it to get a response from her....
Typical of a person who follows their daily feelings. I suspect that it is really more he just got scared that moving out was getting close and suddenly he panics. Wishy washy.... Not attractive to women.
More importantly how does it make you feel to be a waffle with whipped cream on top?
The point here Pin is IMO you are still struggling with the emotions and insecurity that is driving your decisions.
This sh!t sucks and we have been there.
What all of us are trying to say to you is don't make decisions based on your emotions
Anger Self Doubt Frustration Resentment Whatever
THAT is why the first things said to you is to detach. GAL. This all helps to get your emotions back in check and to get your self esteem back.
It takes time and you WILL make mistakes. They are mistakes if you don't learn and do better.
Part of this is also to forgive yourself for letting yourself be a victim. Cause it doesn't feel good when you realize you are victim and that you are the reason you are.
So
IMO you have to figure out what kind of man you want to be cause IF you are going to move out I know what question I would ask myself:
If my kids ask me "why did you move away daddy?"
Because Mommy wasn't doing what I wanted
Because I thought that if I did Mommy would be attracted to me again and ask me back.
Because I wanted to punish Mommy for her not feeling like she wanted me anymore
Because ___________.
You better make damn sure you can make that statement whatever it is from your core buddy if you even know what that is yet.
Make it with NO REGRETS. Whatever the outcome.
Me?
I wouldn't leave. You can give someone space and let them go without physical separation.
You might feel like you are waffle but at least you scraped a layer of whipped cream off yourself.
Then you can answer the question:
Why did Mommy leave?
Well Mommy left because that was her choice.
I don't know why Mommy left because I can't read Mommy's mind.
But I love you my darling children and that is why I did not leave and I love your Mommy and that is why I let her go.
This is a process Pin. Keep steppin'
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Truly gritty! And what I would do too. Coach and Greek are a particular case - every case is different - timing, luck, OPs, job loss, depression, immaturity, sickness, in laws, planetary orbits, etc. all complicate matters. What is true in all these cases: one spouse wants out while the other doesn't.
W just walked in and said that when I told her I was staying, what little hope she had clung to, that we just might, just might be able to work things out with a little space and time, that hope had shattered "like a Christmas ornament." That she was done letting me hurt her. That I was smug, that I had thrown down a gauntlet in her face, that I was cold and manipulative.
She didn't understand how I could agree that we needed our space to work on our issues, yet do this to her. That she was tired of me hurting her and showing her that I didn't love her.
