Well, I've started an email dialogue with my xh about a lot of things we never talked about while we were married. It's been back and forth a few times now with him saying he wants to continue the discussion and learn more about me and answer all my questions. His last email, however, asked why I was now "spilling my guts" with all these feelings I had that I kept to myself. It's a very, very, very good question. I tried to answer it, more for myself than for him. But I don't know if I did a very good job.
When I walked away and filed I was 100% sure it was the right thing to do and I'd exhausted all other avenues. I thought I would always atleast have that. Now I'm feeling that slip away. If I'd just come out with all these feelings I had a couple years earlier...would I still be divorced today??? Aaarrghgh. I did my best, right? I just wasn't able to open up at that time, maybe. He was not easy to talk to, he walked away, he was hiding his own heavy secrets.
