I don't think that trying to get your spouse not to leave your marriage is a boundary. You can't enforce that. But if your spouse is having an affair, walking away from her is pretty much all that you can do to enforce the fact that you will not participate in the marriage if she is breaking her vows, right? If she screams at you, you don't participate in the conversation. If she misuses marital assets, you deprive her of that opportunity. You can't flog them if they don't do what you want, but you do get to take your ball and leave.
No one said it was a boundary... Did they?
And there are many things you can do to persuade your spouse that violating your boundaries won't be good for them to do...
I think saying outright there's nothing you can do defeats the purpose of this forum and this discussion...
We are here to help and generate some constructive ideas... Not to dismiss the existence of any with a single wave of the hand...
