I am a almost WAW, my H is abusive. I am working on my part of the relationship. Am I just supposed to take it until I get me figured out? I love on him the best I can. I do what he asks and they he tells me it's not good enough, I ask for help understanding and he just stomps off. I think I need to learn to communicate better. I think he is having a A but it's not his fault.
I am taking care of myself, and go to IC. I have friends and hobbies, which he is very jealous of so I am thinking of changing that. Would that bring more love to the M? When I change my behavior in a healthy way he gets mad and punishes me. I guess I need to change more. Tired of walking on eggshells.
My goals - get him to listen, help me around the house, and some affection.
ps It's hard to get him to listen because he texts constantly.
I believe the average abused woman leaves her marriage 7-10 times--and then goes back to the abuser--before she is ready to make that final break. Often, during that time, she involves the police after particularly brutal attacks. They will typically tell her to press charges; however, her abusive H will generally persuade her to drop these.
Each of these 7-10 escapes and calls to the police is a failed attempt to set boundaries. As Bridgestone points out, this woman will not be able to set a firm boundary until she stops thinking that SHE is the source of the problem and puts her own well-being above her desperate need to be in a relationship.
