I am very new to this, so I won't be much help, but I know it helps to have someone hear and respond to your story. I think that you were wise to figure out quickly that pursuing does not work. I made that mistake for too long. Just try to remember that you have children who love you very much and you will have a life and a family no matter what happens with her. You are such a strong person from all that you have been through. You did not do anything wrong b/c marriage comes with hard times and being committed to a marriage means working with your partner through them, and not using the hard times as an excuse to pursue other options. Keep that in mind. In any marriage your wife would have to face problems, it is a character flaw that she chose to have an affair to help deal with them. As far as doing a GAL when you have responsibilities in the home, I found that praying helped a lot. Being thankful and happy for the blessings that you have is part of doing a GAL. Your wife will see that. I know it's hard to see there is good in your life right now with what you are going through, I often feel this way at least. But I find myself often thinking, wow I complained a lot about the struggles that i had to deal with in my life before, but it is nothing compared to what I am dealing with now. I wish I had been more appreciative then. But then I will stop and think, I will start doing that now! Things could always be worse so I will start appreciating right now what I do have so that I don't make the same mistake twice. I find this frame of mind really helps. Sorry for my rambling... I hope this makes sense. I am sorry for what you are going through.
