According to her they have a perfect relationship. They dont fight, never discuss their feelings or the future. According to her it is just day by day, no committment, no stress of day to day life. Well go figure, I have the kids, the mortgage and the day to day stress that comes with that responsibility
That is the proof of her fantasy world. To her, "that" is a perfect R, but in the real world people have responsibilities and they want to make plans for a future.....and if there is going to be a future together, then a committment is usually in order. To her, marriage was a picture of day to day stress. It was her reality she wanted to run away from, not necessarily you & family. She puts M, responsibilities, family, stress, job, etc. all in one picture. OM was her "escape". They don't talk about anything b/c he isn't mature minded enough and he just wants sex anyway......nothing more or less. He would duck tail and run the minute he had to be responsible for all those kids!
If you will stick to your guns about no further talk with her UNTIL she leaves OM and has FULLY broken all contact with him.....and is WILLING to be transparent with her future contacts with any/all FRIENDS.......then you may stand a shot. However, if you compromise any of this, then I think she'll backslide. Make her want you bad! Make her work to get you back.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
