I don't think you're a nut case. You sound intelligent and very angry and very wounded. Given what else you said above, I'm not sure there's anything for me to say.
I guess my question for you is, how can we help you now?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
