I think you have to feel all those things you stated before you can get to the other side. It is a very painful process. Time is the key, some are faster than others.
You really don't know what the outcome of this will be. It is so easy to focus on our circumstances rather than on how our H's could possibly change or work through their MLC journey.
You have to follow your heart and listen to the higher power. Nothing is impossible. Many people have come out of their crisis. Many people have not.
Praying for you, Trusting
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11