I have to jump in on CeMar's behalf, even thought he may not want me to.
In the early days of pressing through my sexless situation, anger and fault placement was a large part of working through the situation toward a solution. Please see my earliest posts for proof.
It seems to me, that CeMar is angry because of disillusionment. He feels cheated because he is now 40'ish and thought that his sex life would have arrived at some semblance of normalcy by now - it hasn't. He probably feels like he has been robbed, robbed of a dream that he expected to become reality. He had every right to belive this dream. He had every right to expect that his wife would remain his lover. CeMar probably thought, like many of us, male and female alike, that if he just does the right thing, or applies the right technique and waits patiently, it will all work out. Well, it didn't and he is as mad as hell.
Here is the real kicker folks. His anger, whether misdirected or not, IS justified. I am not saying that he is faultless, or that women are evil (you know I don't believe that). We all, women and men, have been mad as hell as we awakened to find ourselves in a sexualy disequalibrated nightmare.
It is true that generically speaking, men and women handle the situations, on a long term basis, somewhat differently. CeMar is spewing a good bit, and many of you ladies would still be cryiing a lot at this stage of recovery.
So, please give CeMar some rooom. Like many of us, he has a lot to work through yet. He is obviously still hurting. The anger will go as he works through all this.
CeMar. Sorry to talk about you in the third person, it was the only way I could figure to say what I said. I know you have seen me all over the place in my relationship. I am here to tell you at least this much - you have started a chain reaction in your relationship, whether you like it or not. You might as well get her to read Michele's book, and any others you have been reading. Tell her point blank that your relationship is in trouble, and that you desperately need her help to fix it. There is no magic. You are going to have to make something happen, AND be prepared for the fallout when it does. Otherwise, it is likely that nothing will ever change.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
