I've thought long and hard about why I wanted to move out. Had a lot of convos with tons of people, on the boards, friends, family, etc. And realized that it was yet another tactic, a passive aggressive tactic to change how my wife felt. That of COURSE she would miss me. Even though I would be paying for her house, her expenses, doing most of the parenting, all while trying to live an ascetic monk life.
And then I realized that I had been holding onto the rope sooo hard. I had even forgotten why I was holding on.
So yesterday I came home for lunch, and told my wife simply that "I wasn't leaving my home. You do what you need to do, but this is my home, and I'm not leaving it."
She asked me if she had done anything to make me feel unwelcome in the house (WTH???), and I said "no, I just like my home, and I want to stay here."
She said she didn't believe me, that it must have been something she said. I said no, you do what you need to do.
And then I left. No more R talks.
When I came home from work, she was a bit cool, but spoke during dinner. After putting the girls to bed, I went to read in bed (have a cold coming on) and watch the World Series. W never came to bed, slept on the sofa.
Around 6am she came to bed without a word. I got up an hour later, dressed, said goodbye to my daughters, and told W to have a good day.
So to all my fellow Pinheads, before you make any big decisions, really think about your motivations. It's hard, we're in our own fog, but really think and measure your thoughts and feelings.
