I'm impressed...not sure I would have had the same restraint. Well done
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Well I had my laugh for the year. The OM sent me a text asking me to meet him so we can finish what he wanted to start on tuesday. I told him I wasnt interested and told him to grow up. He proceeded to call me a chicken! Are you fu@*#ng kidding me? I told him to talk to my wife and let her explain why it wasnt a good idea for 6' 150lb body to get near my 6'2" 265lb one. I broke my own boundaries and sent a message to my wife telling her to rain in her boyfriend. I sent her his texts and told her to control her man. She did laugh and say she would take care of it.
What a joke, I'm so glad I walked away the first time. He is starting to show his true colors, maybe this is a good thing. According to her they have a perfect relationship. They dont fight, never discuss their feelings or the future. According to her it is just day by day, no committment, no stress of day to day life. Well go figure, I have the kids, the mortgage and the day to day stress that comes with that responsibility. She is now unemployeed, has a very expensive car to pay for no where to take the kids as she has burned all bridges with family. Now I have set my boundaries and i will not live in an open marriage and will not allow her any of the conviences of married life with me. I have Family responsibility after her, and now they know she quit her job so they are pushing for a judge to take her passport and drivers license until she makes payment arrangements for the arrears.
So I guess life's stresses are starting to interject into their perfect little world.
I have to admit, I take great joy in him calling me a chicken, what are we 12?
so thats my rant for the day. Hope others got a good laugh out of it, cause i sure did.
According to her they have a perfect relationship. They dont fight, never discuss their feelings or the future. According to her it is just day by day, no committment, no stress of day to day life. Well go figure, I have the kids, the mortgage and the day to day stress that comes with that responsibility.
Well last night I talked to my wife and again told her i would not share my wife. I told her that she knows what i bring to the table and as long as she is in a relationship with another man I will not share what I have to offer. I finished by handing her my final divorce paperwork. All she has to do is sign off and then we will be in front of he judge within 60 days.
She cried for ten minutes, hugged me and kissed my cheek. She said she is staying with a friend and will talk to me on Sunday. I didnt even responde, I said good night and went back in the house.
It felt great, I stuck to my guns, i didnt discuss us, i didnt bring anything up other than my boundary. I will say that since tuesday i have slept well.
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
According to her they have a perfect relationship. They dont fight, never discuss their feelings or the future. According to her it is just day by day, no committment, no stress of day to day life. Well go figure, I have the kids, the mortgage and the day to day stress that comes with that responsibility
That is the proof of her fantasy world. To her, "that" is a perfect R, but in the real world people have responsibilities and they want to make plans for a future.....and if there is going to be a future together, then a committment is usually in order. To her, marriage was a picture of day to day stress. It was her reality she wanted to run away from, not necessarily you & family. She puts M, responsibilities, family, stress, job, etc. all in one picture. OM was her "escape". They don't talk about anything b/c he isn't mature minded enough and he just wants sex anyway......nothing more or less. He would duck tail and run the minute he had to be responsible for all those kids!
If you will stick to your guns about no further talk with her UNTIL she leaves OM and has FULLY broken all contact with him.....and is WILLING to be transparent with her future contacts with any/all FRIENDS.......then you may stand a shot. However, if you compromise any of this, then I think she'll backslide. Make her want you bad! Make her work to get you back.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
It was not so happy in my household. My wife didnt call to say she wouldnt be stopping by to see the kids. The kids were expecting her to be here to take them trick or treating. She said she would then didnt show up. So my kids went out for just a little while and then wanted to come home. We had fun at home and just hung out.
I dont know that i will ever figure this out. What makes a mother do this to her children?
