We actually already have a mediator on retainer...I'm the one who called her on her crap behavior and told her we are divorcing in July after OM called the police on me. Apparently telling someone to stop talking to your wife is a threat...well only if you are a POSOM.
What do you do when there's a major disaster looming on the horizon? You prepare big time! I would not 'mediate' with someone I absolutely do not trust and I know will likely hurt me and who is not in a healthy state of mind. Independently protect and shore up your assets, your kids and yourself FIRST before considering the next possible step - addressing (Dobson's choice, DBing or whatever) and/or serving her with 'D' if necessary. Given how the system works and the predicament you're in that's the prudent path. You don't have a lot of time on your hands to be in a state of false hope or "co-dependence".
Spent a good part of last night with a good friend who is a straight shooter. Gave me some very good advice. Basically, I need to shut down and really figure out who I am, what I want, and what I need then go from there. He also told me that I need to set aside alone time for myself every week.
Robx - I like your scripts and will use them at the appropriate time but right now I need to look inward and then go from there.
I'm leaving early from work today and going to the beach.
Will post more when my thoughts become clearer. But right now my needs are not being met and I let my wife know that.
M-43 FWW-42 T 20 M 16 DD10 DD8 EA: 1/10 Informal separation: 6/11/2010 Headed for D: 7/6/2010 Piecing? 9/10/10
Also been getting "maybe you should just leave then" a few times this week. And "if you can't love me unconditionally for who I am then this may not work"
I went Robx lite yesterday and TM'd "I need to really think about my decision to take you back and whether it was the right thing to do"
M-43 FWW-42 T 20 M 16 DD10 DD8 EA: 1/10 Informal separation: 6/11/2010 Headed for D: 7/6/2010 Piecing? 9/10/10
Also been getting "maybe you should just leave then" a few times this week. And "if you can't love me unconditionally for who I am then this may not work"
I went Robx lite yesterday and TM'd "I need to really think about my decision to take you back and whether it was the right thing to do"
You can't break up with her when she's breaking up with you, kwim?
And I'd say Robx gave you great advice--and great scripts--above, and you went "Robx Lite-Lite-Lite-Lite" in your response.
W has been moody all week something about her life is to chaotic and her me time is constantly interrupted.
So last night around 9:30 she goes to her same sex friends apartment to talk and returns around 1:30AM drunk. She lays down in bed and about 5 minutes later she pukes in our bed. She cleaned most of it but as I was spraying carpet cleaner next to our bed she has the nerve to ask what's the matter. I replied "you come home drunk at 1:30 and throw up in our bed and you ask whats wrong"?
She then pulled out the venerable "you can leave if you want". I then told her that she obviously neither respects me or this relationship and that she is very unattractive right now. She told me I'm unattractive as well. I then I packed a change of clothes and toiletries walked out the door without speaking another word and slept at my parents house.
M-43 FWW-42 T 20 M 16 DD10 DD8 EA: 1/10 Informal separation: 6/11/2010 Headed for D: 7/6/2010 Piecing? 9/10/10
She lays down in bed and about 5 minutes later she pukes in our bed. She cleaned most of it but as I was spraying carpet cleaner next to our bed she has the nerve to ask what's the matter. I replied "you come home drunk at 1:30 and throw up in our bed and you ask whats wrong"?
Classic.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
