Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

Thanks for the response GKM,

I talked to wife in a calm voice about OM, set a boundary with her on subject, and told her I will not live in an open marriage. Everything seemed to go well with our conversation. We spent over 2 hours talking and went over a lot of issues. The first serious talk we have had.

W and I before OM entered picture were having trust issues from both sides. We discussed this topic and our lack of comunication for the most part. It was an eye opener to me to see where she was coming from. I know that she got where I was at. She even apologized.

I know she is seeing my changes. She said some make her scared. I have done the quiet and controlled guy in the past, but after a period of time I can't keep it bottled up and I explode. I know that this needs to be a 180. I must talk to her before I blow my lid. She thinks that I could go off the deep end at any moment. I need to have a goal of talking to her when it counts and not stopping my conversation with her.

I feel I am in a different place this morning. A good place. A place were I can build. I don't know what is in her heart about our R/M, and I know I need to let her find her way. This is my chance to be that man I should have been. Her interactions this morning with me were different, too, in a good way.

Thanks for the support and encouragement.