M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
I haven't posted in a couple days. Nothing to report excpet I seem to be emerging from my funk. I still miss my W, and I still spend too much time thinking about her.
One of the things I've been thinking about is the "friends" discussion I will undoubtedly have with W at some point in the coming months. She has alluded to it a ton of times. I don't know if I totally believe this, but here is what I'd like to say right now:
W, I understand you think we make better friends than lovers. I don't. Moreover, you cheated on me, then dumped me and in the precess two marriages ended. You don't seem to think that was wrong and you continue to pursue OM. I think your actions were totally selfish, disrespectful and morally wrong. You have changed and I just don't think I want a person that would do such things in my life; you or anyone else.
Maybe at somepoint you'll come to see that your actions were wrong and that there were much better ways to handle it. If you ever get there, look me up.
Thoughts?
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
It is hard. I have been alternating between the past and all the things I want to hold on to and will mourn.. and the future, where my anger and pity at her for what she did and continues to do, propells me to go on and stop looking back.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
I feel the same way. I think I'm lucky, while our physical separation made it MUCH easier for her to cheat, it will also make it much easier to move on. It is concievable that we never see eachother again. Not likely, but concievable.
I do miss her. But honestly, I think I miss Colorado almost as much as her right now. I don't miss the naging and the fighting.
That said, I could really go for a sandwich.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
you know in all this self pity I have been feeling because I am a LBS... I really have forgot all the fighting and nagging and bitching.. and now that I have some space, I can see some of her behaviors in a better more fair light.. I aint the only cowboy to blame here...
get your sandwhich.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
I hear you. But I'm not forgetting my part. I've been trying to GAL as best I can from here. I'm realizing that I had neglected all the things I really do like; all the things that actually made me attractive to W. It is a shame, but I've learned a lot.
Is it change, when you revert back to the person you always thought you were?
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
it IS change... we get all F(@**@ ed up in the daily dynamic and we lose ourselves. I agree that you have to go back and be the person your W loved. For me I was always intense and decisiive. Then we had our son and I became more tolerant and patient. She may have appreciated that sure, but she also may miss the decisive intense guy also.
crazy ass psycho babble,.,,,
I agree about not forgetting my part. I understand what I did. That is the differance btwn her and I at this moment.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
Well, sounds like we all have the exact same wife, only difference is I have two kids that she left also, S7, D5. I found out yesterday that she has stopped wearing wedding rings and then found out she had OM at her apartment last night. I am officially done with her, contacting a lawyer today and GAL'ing. I don't want/need/deserve someone that would do these kinds of things to someone they supposedly love in my life. There will be no friendship even though in her fantasy world we are going to be best friends.......Told her our conversations would relate to children only. Sad that these women just don't get it, she has some serious bad Karma coming her way.
I feel for you NotFromThesePart, there are a lot of us in the same boat.
it IS change... we get all F(@**@ ed up in the daily dynamic and we lose ourselves.
People take their spouses for granted, and their boundaries get fuzzy, and then wham!
What are we supposed to learn?
Never take relationships for granted, know where you end and your spouse begins (your feelings are not their feelings, so what are their feelings), and don't become a doormat.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
