I'm glad you are in counselling. There are some personal growth workshops that are sometimes even more effective than IC only b/c they are more "efficient" in that you can plow through issues without having to go back to work right as you dig deep enough into something. Just a thought. I did a serious workshop years ago that came in very handy for my career and later on, for my marital "challenge". Later, my h attended it as well and then we went together. Very useful and quite profound. Similarly, if your h shows any interest, try Retrovaille. That was also similarly profound and helped seal the deal with our reconciliation.
I hope you won't fall on your sword too much or go from one extreme to the other. Maybe you married the wrong guy or for the wrong reasons, who knows? Of course you both made mistakes.
Give yourself time and learn about yourself without all the judgement. I mean, the same harsh tone I found in your post about your marriage and men in general, is also the tone you used with yourself in the next post. There's an unforgiving aspect to this that you might want to drop altogether. If you've got some "big issues" to work on, work on them. I heard a therapist say "If a problem is being worked on, it's a problem solved...move on." So give yourself (and the world), a break.
We're all living with our inner demons and struggles and are fighting our own private battles. Good luck,
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
